When Shadow Overwhelms and Stillness Becomes Hurtful

What happens when stillness becomes too much?

When we are so still for so long and it isn't that restful stillness, it is a stillness that has the internal fire burning brightly and so hot that it feels it will rip you to shreds. A stillness that feels judgmental and fueled by emotions and traumas flooding in. Flooding in with no where to go. A stillness that you thought you needed and perhaps you once did, but it went on far too long. What happens when that stillness overwhelms your sense of light and shadow and you feel as though you have simply become full shadow?

You start to eat away at yourself and these energetic imbalances become a full on physical imbalance, manifesting in health issues, physical, mental and emotional. 

And once you realize this, that this stillness you dove into to protect yourself, is actually hurting you now, what steps do you take to move, to get active? How do you allow the light to show itself to you, because you know, it never did leave. Where do you go from this place?

Well, you go up. You get up. You recognize that action doesn't mean you have to move quickly. Action doesn't mean doing it all at once. Action doesn't mean you need to learn anything more. 

Action, is well action. Not only will moving your body help (even if that might be painful due to the prolonged stillness), but moving your voice. Allowing yourself to be heard once again. Remembering who you are. You are not simply shadow. No one is ever only light or only shadow. Both light and shadow are a part of all of us. And both are equally beautiful. It is within a vast imbalance, when one becomes stuck in the shadow work, in the shadow exploration and find themselves lost within, that the joy and pleasure of life feel sucked from the space you now inhabit. We are not only on Earth to explore our shadow and heal heal heal. No, we are here to experience joy and pleasure at our very core. 

Start with the breath. A deep breath. Come back to the body. Allow yourself to take the next step and the next step and the next step. At your own pace. No one else's. Know that leaning into joy and pleasure is also healing. It isn't about becoming your shadow, but about integrating it into your light. Embodying all the aspects of you. 

I think being lost in shadow may feel like being in "the void". And it is hard because one doesn't know when it will end. It will however, come to an end and light will be integrated. 

You are a powerful blessing, simply by being here. If you have been in stillness, in shadow for too long, ask yourself what is the very next step I need to do right now to become active again. Try not to go days, weeks, months or years ahead, for that might overwhelm you and push you right back into shadow sitting. Just right now, in this moment, what is your next physical action step. 

Sending much love to you, 

Kelly - The Earth and Spirit Witch